Flight Time / September 2016

17 / 132

SEPTEMBER 17
On top of lots of other awards, you
won the Edinburgh Fringe Comedy
Award last year. How did that feel?
It was really unexpected, and felt really cool.
If I’d have just won it out of the blue, I’d have
felt bad, but I’d been nominated three times,
so I was alright with it. It felt good and I
didn’t feel like a fraud.
You’re touring your new show, Not A
People Person – what’s it about, and
what were you aiming for when you
wrote it?
I wanted to get away from what I did last
year with the award-winning show – it
had some darkness in it, and judges and
audiences kind of attach themselves to that
idea of “he’s exposing himself”, because
I’m such an absurd comedian, but this year
I just wanted to do a really funny show. I’ve
gone back to some old ideas I had – it’s really
original stuff, what I love to do, so that’s a
cool thing. There’s a lot of animal politics in
there, too, because I used to be a zookeeper.
And how’s it been going so far?
It’s been really busy, crazy, lots of pressure
because the audience is like “Oh, you’re the
funniest guy?” You know, I’ve just got to be
an idiot for an hour, but because what I do is
not seen as conventional stand-up, they can
get a bit confused – but I’ll win them over in
the end!
Do you have every bit of the show
planned out, or does some of it
depend on the night?
It changes every single night at the moment
because I’m swapping it around, which is
interesting because some nights, reviewers
will come in and it will be quite perfect, then
other nights I’ll have swapped it around
and think it worked better the other way. It
depends on how the audience is, as well. I
like to talk to the audience, it makes it unique
from night to night, and so they don’t feel like
you’re just thinking about the script.
CONCIERGE MY TIME
What do you enjoy most about your
job, would you say?
I guess I love creating the show. I love it
when it goes really well. I get a buzz from
what I do. I do miss routine, I’ve got to say,
that’s the main thing that gets me a bit down
sometimes – it’s erratic, you travel out to
somewhere weird, like Milton Keynes, and
you don’t get home till three in the morning.
The touring can be a bit yucky. I know it’s
a great job, you get to stand up in front of a
group of strangers, but sometimes you don’t
talk to anyone all day, you get a coffee, then
you’re suddenly staring 300 people in the eye.
It’s a bit unnatural. I yearn for that normalcy
of what I used to do – look after animals, and
work with normal people.
Do you ever wish you were still a
zookeeper?
Yeah, a lot. I miss the camaraderie of
working with other people, mainly because
hanging out with other comedians all the
time is the worst. Everyone’s funny all the
time, which is really draining. I once had a
panic attack in a car, heading back from a
festival with three comedians because I just
couldn’t do it any more. It was like at the
four-hour point, and no-one would shut up,
everyone was zinging and going “Oh yeah,
look at that guy out the window,” and “Ooh,
look at that,” and I was like “Stop the car, I’m
38, I’ve had enough, I’m getting out.” The
funniest people I know in my life are not on
stage, not comedians, they’re my dear friends
from childhood, my uncle Terry and my wife.
If you weren’t a comedian and you
had to be an animal in the zoo for a
day, which one would you be?
I think I’d be a Slow loris – it’s a primate,
a beautiful little animal with a ridiculous
defense mechanism where they have a toxic
gland in their elbow, and if they lick it and
stimulate it, it can paralyse a bug. They’re
really cute. Or a tapir. I love them. They’re
like space dogs.
You’ve been working on various TV
programmes about animals, too,
haven’t you?
Yes. There’s a zoo-based sitcom with
Channel 4, which will hopefully come out
sometime, it’s in process at the moment,
but the Attenborough-style documentaries,
that’s what I really love. I’ve had a series
commissioned in the US. I’d love to work
with the natural history department at the
BBC, who I talk to a lot. Factual stuff about
animals, and working with people who
are passionate about animals. That would
be my absolute dream. In the meantime,
I’m working with Mark Watson, we work
together in radio here.
Are there any places on the UK tour
that you haven’t been to before that
you have high hopes for?
Definitely Belfast – it’s got such an interesting
history, and also loads of great actors come
from there. I love Brighton, too, so I’m
looking forward to going back there. The rest
is undiscovered, but I’m sure it will be fun – as
long as there’s nowhere like Milton Keynes,
I’ll be happy.
See Sam Simmons: Not A People
Person from 29th September. For more
information, visit
This year I just wanted to do a really funny show.
I’ve gone back to some old ideas I had – it’s really
original stuf f, what I love to do. There’s a lot of animal
politics in there, too, because I used to be a zookeeper